In MLB sidemen get paid as sidemen, which is to say handsomely.  The statistic Wins Above Replacement Player (WARP) gives a numerical value to a player’s contribution in terms of his value over players readily available in AAA or the waiver wire.  I’m sure agents hate advanced stats just like MLB beat writers, though teams still talk about keeping a non-productive player employed because he’s a good “clubhouse guy”.

What defines a good clubhouse guy?  Who knows?  He makes a little over the league minimum.  He doesn’t take a bat to the clubhouse thermostat, Kenny Lofton’s boombox, or cuss out Hannah Storm.  He doesn’t throw water on Tim McCarver.  He doesn’t bring a gun to work as a joke.  He’s probably a short, white, weakling, overachiever who grinds, hustles, and never gives away an at-bat, probably because every MLB per diem could be his last.  He’s not very good at baseball, but he won’t cause trouble.  His most reliable quality is being reliable.

Since ballplayers represent cities there’s a sense of ownership for fans, especially of the “good clubhouse guy”.  Cleveland Indians radio voice Tom Hamilton couldn’t go seven words without expressing how Trot Nixon (WARP -1.2) was one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.  He defined clubhouse guy.  He was reliably awful in the outfield.  He was reliably below average at the plate.  He reliably couldn’t run.

WARP says the Indians could have brought up any AAA outfielder or picked up some free agent scrub and that guy, for way less salary, could have outpaced whatever Trot Nixon was giving on the field.  The Indians won the division in 2007.  They were one game away from the World Series and played lackluster baseball in Game 5 . . . at their home park . . . with their ace on the mound . . . here’s the perfect time for clubhouse guy to start a shaving cream fight and rally the troops.

Clubhouse guy failed.  Fausto Carmona’s evil twin Zausto botched Game 6.  Conveniently before Game 7 it was leaked that Indians pitcher (and emeritus clubhouse guy) Paul Byrd may or may not have used performance enhancing drugs.  Jake Westbrook struggled out of trouble, Skinner held up Lofton, and I found myself driving I-271 at 97 MPH for no apparent reason other than if a baseball team was coming close to killing me–I might as well finish the job.

Jhonny Peralta, on the other hand, is pretty much the dog all Indians fans love to kick.  The line on JP?  He’s lazy.  He’s slow.  He has no defensive range.  He doesn’t care.  He underachieves.  I’ve never heard JP talked about as “good clubhouse guy”–but he comes off as a quiet, shy man who just wants to play baseball and be left alone.   Trot Nixon was slow.  He had no defensive range–but why does it matter that he allegedly cared and grinded (ground??) his way through the season?  Nixon gets praised as the soul behind the 2007 Indians for no good reason and Peralta gets ripped as a do-nothing waste of a roster spot (which WARP tells us Trot Nixon was!).

I’m no bleeding heart liberal, but why does clubhouse guy always have to be a white, average, slow, noodle armed guy?  FireJoeMorgan.com made comedic gold out identifying the logical fallacies of praising a certain scrappy (and currently active) gnome-like shortstop.

I’ll end by saying my favorite major leaguer is the Detroit Tigers clubhouse guy, Brandon Inge (career average 2.53 WARP).  He plays good defense.  He hits home runs.  He hustles.  He has some sweet tattoos.  My friend Kevin met him at a gas station, said Inge was a good guy.  I love Inge, though, after seeing him throw out a handful of Indians back when he played catcher.  They continued to run on him, since he was a rookie, I guess, and he kept gunning em down all weekend.  I never had illusions he was going to be Carlton Fisk.  He was a rookie on the fringes, and he became my guy.

I love ballplayers on the fringes, not veteran clubhouse guy.  My favorite fringe player now is Andy Marte, who is Jhonny Peralta’s foil.  Mr. National Security (his favorite movie) is on the DL with an ingrown stomach hair.  He’s been traded twice and given his outright release by the Indians.  Nobody wanted him.  His career WARP is . . . -0.9.  He’s an underachiever you can root for but he’s not a helpful sideman.

In rock and roll it’s a different story.  Any joker can write a song, but Tom Waits‘ can’t bake bread without Keith Richards‘ guitar part on “Blind Love”.  Of course using Keith Richards to exemplify a sideman is like using Mariano Rivera as example of a short shift ballplayer.

Who are your favorite fringe ballplayers or music sidemen?  I’m working on a post about the most underrated member of the World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band, how without him they could may have fractured.  Send along a comment with your favorite side musician and what value he / she provided to the band.  I’d like to hear your opinion.

The sell hasn’t been that tough.  Car dealers and big retailers are still going to purchase newspaper advertising, at least for the Sunday paper.  I’m happily shocked at how many independent contractors and successful small businesses don’t use free platforms to define their brand, show customers services they can provide, etc.

Evidently my schtick is working.  I’ve met with a few clients in the last few days.  They are open and excited about my suggestions of how to use Twitter and Facebook more effectively and want my services.

This is great for me, right?  I have a skill set companies need.  Then we get to talking about compensation and we both get stumped.

What is my fee?  Honestly, I don’t know the best answer yet. I’m too new in this business to have found a fair pricing model.

I worked on spec today, which doesn’t help me solve the problem.  I read some less than perfect web copy.  I’m a perfectionist so I rewrote it for fun.  The website and Facebook page were also organized a little wonky for my taste.  I made reorganization notes.  I sent an email to the business owner.  Her operating budget is small, small, small.  She has an excellent product, superior to anyone in town.  Her home business will grow to provide a storefront and online shipping in the next two years.  I’m certain of it.  I’m willing to work for nothing now in advance of what I perceive as a growth opportunity, as trial for what I do well and need to learn.

But my rent it due. My car just got hit by an uninsured motorist.  I just got a dog.

I must be crazy to work without a retainer of some sort, but the benefits of social media marketing are mostly present in the cost of NOT using.  I agreed to work with another client without a contract.  Again, there is huge growth potential.  I’m willing to forego a little cash now to prove I can work fast, effectively, and provide value.

Social media can help businesses retain customers, find new customers, define their brand, and create a network to launch business-to-business contacts it presently discovers only from trade shows and cocktail parties.  Both companies I mentioned above will benefit from all these intangibles, eventually.

Better said: if a company does not make a strong effort into using Twitter and Facebook for business-to-customer interaction it’s giving away an opportunity.  The questions become: What is a Twitter follower worth?  What is a Facebook friend worth?  How long will it take to see results?

I feel like an actor.  With both companies I love the script.  I want to be a player in the story so much I’ll take a percentage instead of a flat fee.  If business spikes, I win.  Time is the killer, though.

If you found this useful, I’d love to read your experiences with internet business and marketing.  Shoot a small comment or find me on Facebook and Twitter.

My parents’ generation grew up reading the newspaper.  My generation reads blogs.

Many will tell you these two cannot co-exist, nor are they related.

For newspapers to survive and for bloggers to make money writing, they must give ground and blend into a new model for news, a more analytical reading of events that surpasses the “just the facts” news of yesteryear.

The common misconception, as with Twitter, is that blogs are anecdotal.  Many blogs are nothing more than published diaries.  They’re poorly written, lacking context, and not interested in an audience outside of close friends.

The best bloggers write well, have research skills like journalists, and have a point of view high-circulation newspapers could never publish (or choose not to publish).

Any readable blog should focus on context and commentary over anecdote.  The Atlantic has a great article on Google’s impact on the news business “How To Save the News”.  It’s kicked up a lot in me, which I’ll write about more this weekend–but @kerbehr gave me this idea: The only way blogging and the benefits bloggers provide over mainstream news outlets is if people read blogs.

Sounds stupid, I know.  The following blogs are written well (in some cases by professional writers), show a great blend of creativity and research principles, and aim for more than unfounded thin-slicing of an issue.  These are the founders of the new news.  When a big event happens I go to them, not CNN, ABC, Food Network, ESPN, or Rolling Stone.

Food: http://everydaypalate.blogspot.com/

Great site catering to the foodie.  Full of what I’ll call restaurant experiences (not really reviews in the traditional sense), musings on the wonders of kale, and enlightenment of how to fully, completely, and deeply enjoy wholesome food.

Poetry / Art: http://connotationpress.com/

A little blog of everything.  Editors focus this blog on the best in literature, art, food, music and any other sense engaging task that’s not too naughty.

Sports: http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/

Simply stated: my writing hero.  Not just because he’s a Cleveland guy (but it helps) this blog contains the most thorough and digestible sports analysis, all apologies to Fangraphs.  Joe’s not afraid to make his readers uncomfortable.  One great characteristic about Joe, he aims toward disproving conventional thinking.   Many posts break the short blog format and run over 2,000 words, such as the 13,000 words he’s written about why Bert Blyleven should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame.  He writes objectively and emotionally about music (turned me on to Fiery Furnaces), sports, Cleveland, fatherhood, marriage, or whatever else he chooses.  I’m often breathless or laughing after reading.

Design and all things computer-dorky: http://coghillcartooning.com/blog

George Coghill is another mentor / hero.  He’s found a way to create a life around what he loves to do: draw and play with computers.  George is a big thinker, an entrepreneur obsessive who provides customers and friends more than they expect, only because he has so much creativity to spend.

Corporate America and Life: http://kerbehr.wordpress.com/

Many people bristle at Twitter because they assume Tweeps aren’t real friends.  The misconception is 140 characters does not allow for “real” communication.  I feel less alone as a single, isolated, young professional when I read this blog, which I found through another Tweep.  Her words drive me to sit here right now, to come closer to my best self inter-personally and professionally.

I agree with Jim Rome that this isn’t going to help either.

Call me a traitor to my hometown, but the man has no reason work in Cleveland other than Clevelanders will claim to love him more than anyone else, as this awful video attests.  I agree with Jim Rome.  The point of this video better be comedy.  Mark Norton, Ted Strickland, and Big Chuck will not change LeBron’s mind, trust me.

The “Please Stay LeBron” video implies has-been half celebrities are on LeBron’s radar, that sentiment will trump business.  Yeah, that isn’t happening.

What really bugs me is what defines Cleveland in “Please Stay LeBron” and on Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations: its weirdos.  Now, this may be realistic–but it’s exactly why this town is a joke.  Harvey Pekar is a regular guy, I guess, but if he is going  to define a town count me out.

What should define Cleveland?

I think that’s the wrong question to ask.  Places are inanimate, except in the cosmic sense.  A place can speak to you, for sure.  The individual, though, must take responsibility for finding the beauty in any location.

The better question is for each individual to consider what is beautiful–and to live it each day.  Certainly there’s beauty all over Cleveland.  I don’t lack for wonderful people to be around, great food to eat, inspiring art and music to enjoy.

If I had to answer the question: What should define Cleveland? Here’s the first on my list, but none of these things will matter to LeBron James.  It should matter to any local.

Superior Pho: 3030 Superior, Cleveland, OH 216-781-7462

My aesthetic as a foodie is to look for small portions cooked perfectly, another consideration is value.  It’s rare that a small dish can be so satisfying a diner will not even want to let the law of diminishing returns become a possibility, will not want to order anything else.

The Vietnamese sandwich (Banh mi thit) at Superior Pho hits all three.

The bread is reason enough to order.  Expectation is a factor in how any dish is judged.  The  Banh mi thit reminds me of the world’s greatest sandwich, the Darrell’s Special Po-boy in Lake Charles, Louisiana.  The french bread is delicately toasted on the outside and soft on the inside.  This sandwich, unlike the Darrell’s Special, is a wonderful mix of overpowering and clean tastes.

Pate, which I usually hate, is thinly spread and blends nicely with strips of cured pork and mayo.  Thankfully for me the Vietnamese are not down with cheese, which would ruin flakes of mint that give the sandwich aroma.  Before you take a bite, the mint gives off a pleasant gardeny feel.

From a credibility standpoint the mint says “This kitchen values freshness,” which is also true if you order a #11 Special–a Vietnamese sandwich, a large bowl of pho, and iced tea.  Pho and a sandwich?  It’s nearly too much, but perfect for a hedonist like me.

A little carrot and cucumber added for texture–and this $3.50 sandwich will bring back more value than what you’ll pay.  That’s if you can find the place.  It’s between E 30th and E 31st on the south side of Superior.  Park behind the building and look for a little red awning.  Enter there.  You’ll be back.  But LeBron won’t be.

His employment possibilities are slimmed even more considering the cap on what franchises can spend on labor costs. Five cities are reasonable options: Cleveland, New York, Chicago, Miami, and Los Angeles.

Your friend has global appeal.  He is known worldwide, but has only lived in a 30 mile radius of Cleveland throughout his life.  He never went to college.  His hard work and prodigious talents put him straight into the workforce at 18.  He’s a bazillionaire and he’s never left home.

He spent seven years working in Cleveland, is raising a few children and supporting his extended family.  His job performance is better than anyone in Cleveland, ever.  People travel from all over the WORLD to Cleveland just to see him work.

His business has a rule: if an employee stays with their present employer, the present employer can offer one more year on a contract and more total money, though the difference is marginal considering what he may be able to make up in product endorsements, benefits, etc.

Also, he can only choose his employer a few times throughout his career.  The business has very, very strict contract law.  He’ll probably sign a contract for 3-5 years then be allowed to test the open market again.  If it turns out bad, he can’t go back.

His job has a high burnout rate.  Luckily the contracts are guaranteed.  If there’s a job site accident, which is very common, in fact he’s a little banged up at the moment, he’ll still be paid but has no chance at maximizing his earning potential.  His career can end at any moment.

Would you tell your friend to stay in Cleveland, to forego the unknown?

Jim Thome didn’t stay.  Manny Ramirez didn’t stay.  Albert Belle didn’t stay.  Art Modell didn’t stay.  C.C. Sabathia wasn’t going to stay, neither was Cliff Lee or Victor Martinez.

LeBron tried long enough.  He has no interest in carrying Cleveland’s agony, and I don’t blame him.  Nobody knows what happened to the Cavs between Games 4-5.  I’m just saying it doesn’t matter.  Let the man go.  The conditions of the NBA coupled with where he’s at in life?  I want a championship in Cleveland more than anyone, but I would council LeBron to get out.

Restaurants and bars by Quicken Loans Arena may lose 50-60 big nights next year.  Some will close.  Seasonal employees will not be asked back.  Spending in Cuyahoga County will decrease.  Service industry employees will not find gigs as attractive and will have to adapt.

All that is not LeBron James‘ responsibility or problem to solve.  The notion that Cleveland Sucks is not why he should leave.  I find exciting people, food, and art all over town, though Cleveland deserves much of its bad reputation.

I care about it, too  I was born here.  It’s family.  Family is comforting, usual, and supportive.  Family is also vindictive, unpredictable in bad times, and unreceptive to change.  Yet every adult must leave home and family, must become their own person.

The weather sucks around Lake Erie.  The people are pessimistic, unfriendly, and look at their residence as a cross to bear, a birthright dooming them to worse than lifetime underachievement.  A  more powerful force hovers over town, the idea that even underachievement is not possible, less than underachievement is possible.
Survival is the only possibility.

Transcendence is for New York, Los Angeles, New Orleans, Paris, Venice.  Clevelanders think: at least we’re not Detroit.

Economically speaking Cleveland is Detroit, with poorer sports teams (okay, maybe the Lions suck worse than the Browns–but the Pistons and Tigers have both won championships in my lifetime).  Perhaps the economic impact of a winner is not that great.  The economy is Cleveland has bigger issues.  Why he needs to leave has everything to do with economic reality for LeBron and the town.  LeBron is gravy on the plate.  The town is still missing bread.

I’ll also never watch a Cavs game again.  Wont take my nephew to the Q for his birthday.  So Dan Gilbert has that to think about.

The Cavs are listed by Forbes as the 5th most valuable franchise in the NBA.

Yet Gilbert is highly leveraged, with a Debt / Value ratio of 42%.  To make things worse, if the Cavs don’t make it to the NBA Finals the team will LOSE money this year.

The potential economic impact on the franchise and city is hyper-intense.  If LeBron leaves?  Fire up the Doomsday Machine.

The final relevant NBA game involving Cleveland may be played in about 3 hours.  Downtown businesses relying on the Cavs to push them through the lean winter: cross your fingers.

I’ve written here about the danger of nostalgia for businesses and sports fans.  It took a lot for me to grow and realize the 1986 Browns just weren’t good enough.  The 1995 Indians just weren’t good enough.  It didn’t matter if Skinner sent Lofton, the 2007 Indians were going to lose to Boston anyway.

Perhaps the 2010 Cavs just aren’t good enough either.  Instead of thinking about tonight’s game with doom I remembered this–

Without laughter we die.

A huge concern for late adopters of social networking, or non-adopters for that matter, is that Twitter and Facebook are distraction comedy for teenagers.  Someone who’s paid a mortgage since 1964, a home presently worth its 1986 value, has every reason to be skeptical.

They were sold on the following life path:

Survive through college / wartime.  Find a job.  Get married.  Have a few kids.  Raise them.  Send them to college.  Work some more.  Spoil grandkids.  Retire.

This American archetype, of course, does not account for the Vietnam War, the 1970s oil shocks, Carter’s recession, Volcker’s monetary policy, Reagan’s faux militarization of space, or any other potential macroeconomic shift that can kink a hard working American family into monetary trouble.

When LeBron came to town Cleveland fans expected something simpler:

LeBron arrives.  We win titles.

This generalization didn’t account for Carlos Boozer’s handshake deal with Jim Paxson, the overachieving 2007 Cavs, Andy Varejao’s holdout, Hedo Turkoglu playing like Jerry West, Shaq’s broken finger, Mo Williams forgetting how to score, or LeBron’s mysterious elbow injury.

In life and business, the thing you can’t see will get you.  One way to get over it is to tastefully laugh.

The subtext of Twitter hatred, in a business sense, is that social media marketing is nothing more than anecdotal silliness.

Well, that’s kind of the point.  My anxiety this afternoon is calmed by checking in on one my favorite Tweeps: LeBron’s elbow which is clearly not written by LeBron’s elbow–but a tech savvy kid who knows about the relationship between humor and commerce.

I imagine the Twitterer responsible for comedy gems like “BTW I feel fine today.  Nobody has shocked, rubbed or drugged me for awhile so I’m feeling less n less like Courtney Love everyday” will enjoy the game tonight with friends, owns a few Cavs t-shirts, likes to watch the game at the bar, all things good for the economy (and the Cavs).

I doubt Dan Gilbert has this Twitterer on his payroll, but he should.  The 2010-11 Cavs could be a comedy troupe.

MLB is trying to be preventative.  Milton Bradley with a Twitter account?  Entertaining for me.  Scary for MLB.

My Cleveland Indians need revenue.  I’m sick of seeing Rafael Perez pitch.  If GM-to-be Chris Antonetti wanted to change the playing field by advertising Tiffany’s Cabaret and Rico’s Gun Shop on the outfield wall alongside State Farm Insurance–MLB would have to step in.   But to censor professional writers hired by each club?

An unnamed spokesperson denied any such policy change happened on Wednesday, which Gleeman recounts here.  Policy or not, the news hits at a huge reason why businesses are fearful of meeting their customers where they live, Twitter.

A commenter on Gleeman’s original story, the aptly named Old Gator, says “Personally the whole idea of a ‘Twitter Feed’ repels me.  All it does is attract more twitterers to the yard . . .”  He goes on to make a hackneyed metaphor between users of Twitter equaling yard animals pooping on his sacred head.  He implies Tweeters are bad for baseball, bad for other fans’ experience.

For someone so intent on using technology (computer, internet) to post his opinion Old Gator seems to miss the point.  Twitter is a platform of communication, no different from the telephone, cave wall, email, letter, postcard, etc.

Old Gator is Mr. I Don’t Understand It from my post earlier this week.

For someone who appears to care about the future solvency of MLB, he seems set to allow MLB to infuriate its youngest and most loyal customers.  Pleasing the tech savvy young professional should be MLB’s concern, not annoying them.

I’m old enough that MLB and the NFL have got me.  My consumption patterns are deep, wide grooves etched in my brain.  I pay a lot for coffee, am brutally loyal to Starbucks.  A perfect Friday night is draft beer, a few hot dogs, a ball game, and the Progressive Field fireworks.

My nephews, on the other hand, are pre-teens.  They spend their money on video games, iTunes, and apps.  They communicate exclusively through text message and live chat.

Their benchmark birthday is not 16.  They don’t care much about driving.  They’re fired up about turning 14, when my sister allows them Facebook accounts.

If MLB wants to stay relevant, especially in tough markets like Cleveland, Pittsburgh, and Kansas City, it must embrace social media marketing.  Twitter and MLB.com can become tools to enhance fan participation at the ball park.

For example, the Progressive Field scoreboard, finally, posts some SABR stats.  If I’m at the park I’ll want to know Jhonny Peralta’s splits against lefties since 2008.  Anthony Castrovince, Cleveland’s MLB.com beat reporter, can tweet that.  But that isn’t why I follow him on Twitter or read his column.

I follow him because he’s a great writer.  He folds in pop culture.  I read his MLB blog for baseball content since he is a qualified reporter.  I also read him to hear about Gaslight Anthem playing during batting practice or his favorite Seinfeld episode or what he felt about the new Springsteen album.

The underlying concern for MLB should not be to muzzle its employees.  It should be to hire professional writers who understand writing for the internet like Anthony Castrovince.

Fallacy 1: Our company doesn’t need it.

Wrong.  Your company does need it.  I understand if all the cool kids are popping acid and jumping off bridges, you’d better not follow the cool kids.  Beyond risk taking, there’s little tangible value for a teen to take drugs.  For a company, though, being stubborn and not following the cool kids with their iPhones could be disastrous in the long run.

Your competitors are using Facebook, Twitter, and mobile marketing.  If your business is a low cost leader, provides superior service, or fits a niche–the consequence of not touching customers where they live, through their phones and computers, is a nice way to hand business to your inferior competitor.

Fallacy 2: I don’t have the time.

Small business owners need to tend to the shop.  A deli owner can’t be bothered to post status updates or upload photos of today’s shrimp bisque.  During the lunch rush they can’t be bothered.  Running from the line to the computer with 23 customers waiting to order?  Not going to happen.

But this is when social media marketing can help a restaurant the most.  As professionals, students, and freelancers work how many have their Facebook or Twitter pages open?  Their phones listing Wall Posts and Twitter Feeds?  Can a small business afford to say, “We don’t need that.  I don’t have the time . . .”?

The 2010 Social Media Marketing Annual Report states “25.7% of large businesses and 25% of mid-sized businesses are currently outsourcing [social media marketing], compared to only 10.6% of sole proprietors.”

Coca-Cola can afford to hire a specialized marketer to handle its Twitter, Facebook, and direct email marketing.  So can small businesses.  Social media marketers like me, a shameless plug, I know, geek out over helping other inspired small business owners succeed.

Tomorrow I’ll hit on the “I don’t understand Twitter” and “I’ll get sucked in and spend less time actually working” excuses.

As a former teacher I believe in discourse.  Please comment below and disagree with me, or feel free to praise too.  We can all use a little of both.

I assume the 10.6% is made up of companies that use social media and disregards the larger market share: small businesses that do not use Twitter or Facebook at all.

Companies not using social media are muzzling themselves.  They are handing money to competitors.  They are not acting out of hubris or stupidity but fear.  And these fears are reasonable for someone not familiar with what social media can do–but they’re akin to being afraid of electricity.

Late adopters choosing to light the house with oil lamps and candles can read The Atlantic at midnight, sure.  Having electric light doesn’t mean you’ll stick a fork in the light socket yet companies not using social media think about Twitter this way, that it is evil.  That partnering with customers using a free tool degrades their brand.  That not learning how to communicate directly with customers is okay.

Twitter is not Darth Vader.  Facebook is not The Force, either, but the following excuses companies use for not using social media are what consultants must deftly fight off.

1. Our company doesn’t need it.
2. I don’t have the time.
3. I don’t understand it.
4. I’ll get sucked into Twitter / Facebook and spend less time actually working.

From here I wonder what other excuses you’ve heard from friends, business owners, and colleagues for why social media is evil.  I’ll argue against every excuse listed above in a future post–but what other reasons have you heard for why social media is ruinous?