I’ve always thought sidemen were undervalued, in all types of business and entertainment. When the Cleveland Indians inked the mediocre outfield trinity of Jason Michaels, Trot Nixon, and David Dellucci I thought: every team needs an average outfielder–not three. In baseball, average is average. Advanced statistics clearly show who the most valuable defenders, hitters, and pitchers are, and more importantly they can show the value of non-descript relief pitchers, defensive substitutes, and pinch runners. Advanced stats give teams the ability to spend rationally, not that they do it. David Eckstein has a job.
In MLB sidemen get paid as sidemen, which is to say handsomely. The statistic Wins Above Replacement Player (WARP) gives a numerical value to a player’s contribution in terms of his value over players readily available in AAA or the waiver wire. I’m sure agents hate advanced stats just like MLB beat writers, though teams still talk about keeping a non-productive player employed because he’s a good “clubhouse guy”.
What defines a good clubhouse guy? Who knows? He makes a little over the league minimum. He doesn’t take a bat to the clubhouse thermostat, Kenny Lofton’s boombox, or cuss out Hannah Storm. He doesn’t throw water on Tim McCarver. He doesn’t bring a gun to work as a joke. He’s probably a short, white, weakling, overachiever who grinds, hustles, and never gives away an at-bat, probably because every MLB per diem could be his last. He’s not very good at baseball, but he won’t cause trouble. His most reliable quality is being reliable.
Since ballplayers represent cities there’s a sense of ownership for fans, especially of the “good clubhouse guy”. Cleveland Indians radio voice Tom Hamilton couldn’t go seven words without expressing how Trot Nixon (WARP -1.2) was one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. He defined clubhouse guy. He was reliably awful in the outfield. He was reliably below average at the plate. He reliably couldn’t run.
WARP says the Indians could have brought up any AAA outfielder or picked up some free agent scrub and that guy, for way less salary, could have outpaced whatever Trot Nixon was giving on the field. The Indians won the division in 2007. They were one game away from the World Series and played lackluster baseball in Game 5 . . . at their home park . . . with their ace on the mound . . . here’s the perfect time for clubhouse guy to start a shaving cream fight and rally the troops.
Clubhouse guy failed. Fausto Carmona’s evil twin Zausto botched Game 6. Conveniently before Game 7 it was leaked that Indians pitcher (and emeritus clubhouse guy) Paul Byrd may or may not have used performance enhancing drugs. Jake Westbrook struggled out of trouble, Skinner held up Lofton, and I found myself driving I-271 at 97 MPH for no apparent reason other than if a baseball team was coming close to killing me–I might as well finish the job.
Jhonny Peralta, on the other hand, is pretty much the dog all Indians fans love to kick. The line on JP? He’s lazy. He’s slow. He has no defensive range. He doesn’t care. He underachieves. I’ve never heard JP talked about as “good clubhouse guy”–but he comes off as a quiet, shy man who just wants to play baseball and be left alone. Trot Nixon was slow. He had no defensive range–but why does it matter that he allegedly cared and grinded (ground??) his way through the season? Nixon gets praised as the soul behind the 2007 Indians for no good reason and Peralta gets ripped as a do-nothing waste of a roster spot (which WARP tells us Trot Nixon was!).
I’m no bleeding heart liberal, but why does clubhouse guy always have to be a white, average, slow, noodle armed guy? FireJoeMorgan.com made comedic gold out identifying the logical fallacies of praising a certain scrappy (and currently active) gnome-like shortstop.
I’ll end by saying my favorite major leaguer is the Detroit Tigers clubhouse guy, Brandon Inge (career average 2.53 WARP). He plays good defense. He hits home runs. He hustles. He has some sweet tattoos. My friend Kevin met him at a gas station, said Inge was a good guy. I love Inge, though, after seeing him throw out a handful of Indians back when he played catcher. They continued to run on him, since he was a rookie, I guess, and he kept gunning em down all weekend. I never had illusions he was going to be Carlton Fisk. He was a rookie on the fringes, and he became my guy.
I love ballplayers on the fringes, not veteran clubhouse guy. My favorite fringe player now is Andy Marte, who is Jhonny Peralta’s foil. Mr. National Security (his favorite movie) is on the DL with an ingrown stomach hair. He’s been traded twice and given his outright release by the Indians. Nobody wanted him. His career WARP is . . . -0.9. He’s an underachiever you can root for but he’s not a helpful sideman.
In rock and roll it’s a different story. Any joker can write a song, but Tom Waits‘ can’t bake bread without Keith Richards‘ guitar part on “Blind Love”. Of course using Keith Richards to exemplify a sideman is like using Mariano Rivera as example of a short shift ballplayer.
Who are your favorite fringe ballplayers or music sidemen? I’m working on a post about the most underrated member of the World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band, how without him they could may have fractured. Send along a comment with your favorite side musician and what value he / she provided to the band. I’d like to hear your opinion.
Great post. And yes, Inge has cool tatts.
Comment by andyandvickie — May 29, 2010 @ 10:52 PM
Thanks for the reply! Cool tatts, a killer arm, and HR power. What’s not to like? I was a little sad when Detroit resigned him. I had small dreams the Indians could replace Casey Blake with Brandon Inge.
Comment by bgattozzi — May 30, 2010 @ 10:46 PM